Thanks you all for answering my hair survey. Interesting feedback. Looks like the majority of you think I should turn myself into a makeover show to see if they can help me. It's a great idea, and I'm totally open to that. To those of you that suggested I just shave it all of... is that a dare?! Or were you just trying to see if I was bluffing... because I totally was.
At this point my plan is to get some big velcro curlers (thanks for the tip, June) and try that out while keeping the ponytail look going. I'm just not up to buying a hairdryer yet. Then, next time I'm in Dallas, I'll go get my hair cut at a proper salon with someone that I can entrust my new straight locks to.
Keep looking and I'll post pics sometime.