For many years I have prayed from Psalm 139 that God would not let me get away with anything. That He would go spelunking in my heart and shine His light on undiscovered bad attitudes or other hidden idols, like envy or discontentment. He always answers that prayer with a "Yes! Belay On!".I figure if I continue to ask Him to search my heart (and really mean it), hopefully I won't discover some wild thing has been taking up residence in my heart and God has to do major surgery...spiritually. I have found it's much easier to change things if I keep a short account with God than if I pretend I'm a good church-going Christian and I don't have anything to be concerned about.
Worst possible scenario would be to get to heaven and have Jesus say, "Oh, yeah... um, Shannon, right? We had some good times in those early days, but then you wanted to do your own thing. Well, I'm glad you're here." Much better would be enter the gates of heaven wiped out and hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. Shannon, it is finished. Welcome into joy and rest."
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
2 comments:
AMEN!!!!
i immediately sought the passage in my hebrew bible, thinking, wow, i wish that were my testimony...when i got to the end, and read the last verse, i realized that it is! selah. blessings to you my friend.
1.For the leader. A psalm of David: ADONAI, you have probed me, and you know me.
2.You know when I sit and when I stand up, you discern my inclinations from afar,
3.you scrutinize my daily activities. You are so familiar with all my ways
4.that before I speak even a word, ADONAI, you know all about it already.
5.You have hemmed me in both behind and in front and laid your hand on me.
6.Such wonderful knowledge is beyond me, far too high for me to reach.
7.Where can I go to escape your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8.If I climb up to heaven, you are there; if I lie down in Sh'ol, you are there.
9.If I fly away with the wings of the dawn and land beyond the sea,
10.even there your hand would lead me, your right hand would hold me fast.
11.If I say, "Let darkness surround me, let the light around me be night,"
12.even darkness like this is not too dark for you; rather, night is as clear as day, darkness and light are the same.
13.For you fashioned my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14.I thank you because I am awesomely made, wonderfully; your works are wonders -I know this very well.
15.My bones were not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16.Your eyes could see me as an embryo, but in your book all my days were already written; my days had been shaped before any of them existed.
17.God, how I prize your thoughts! How many of them there are!
18.If I count them, there are more than grains of sand; if I finish the count, I am still with you.
19.God, if only you would kill off the wicked! Men of blood, get away from me!
20.They invoke your name for their crafty schemes; yes, your enemies misuse it.
21.ADONAI, how I hate those who hate you! I feel such disgust with those who defy you!
22.I hate them with unlimited hatred! They have become my enemies too.
23.Examine me, God, and know my heart; test me, and know my thoughts.
24.See if there is in me any hurtful way, and lead me along the eternal way.
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